it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
