I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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