Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
my poor anus
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
