if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize