He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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