i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
