with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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