I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Randomize
