When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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