C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
