1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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