She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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