there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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