he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
