she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
