Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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