He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
