how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize