I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
