she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
