i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
