Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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