I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
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it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
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When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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