is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
