U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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