your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
