Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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