I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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