Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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