I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
honey bunches of taint.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You made out with two different species that night
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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