The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
