Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
