highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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