ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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