He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
this hospital has no fireball
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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