i barfeds in our rink
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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