You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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