is your mom at the bar?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
