Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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