Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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