my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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