Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
