My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize