Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You were trust falling into bushes
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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