She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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