Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
