white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
