We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
