Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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