Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
