Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
