i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
