does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
