She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
