I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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