i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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