That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
