please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
