I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
