Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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