I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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